I wish Heaven had visiting hours..

If Heaven had visiting hours, how often would we be allowed to visit? Every week? Every year? How long would the line to get in be? There are so many people I'd love to see again, to hug and kiss; even if only for a second. If I could ask my Great Grandmother if she was proud of me and introduce her to my Husband and my son. Or see if my Uncle was still the life of the party. Or meet my Husband's Grandmother, who he always speaks so fondly of. Or meet the baby I never got a chance to hold.

I recently read a post on one of the blogs I follow that made me ponder this. She talks about how she wishes her life was normal again. And I completely get it. I wish I could hear about new pregnancies and births or pass the baby section at Target without a second thought.  I don't like to write posts that make me seem ungrateful because I know how blessed we are. Everyday I think about where we are in our lives and I, myself, don't even know how we do it. But now I just want to get back to normal.

Something that is helping me to move on after miscarriage is recognizing that it's okay to be sad and to cry. There were so many emotions that I went through during that confusing period and sad was definitely one of them. I tried holding it in and telling myself that everything was okay. But lying, even to yourself, will never help you heal. When I stopped blaming myself and really came to terms with my emotions is when I can say I began to feel better. Its okay to feel sad, left out, abandoned, confused, angry, or whatever; as long as you do not dwell in that emotion. And with God's help, you won't. The last thing I wanted to hear was what I heard the most: "God never puts more on you than you can bare" or "God does everything for a reason." But, with every sunrise is a new day to start fresh. And the same things I didn't really want to hear at the time, ring in my ears on days that aren't the brightest for me. And although those are kind of cliché, they do offer me comfort.

Just some thoughts that were on my mind today.

xo, Londyn.

Updates!

Hi Guys! 

I'm here today to share a few things. 

1/ Levi is done with Speech Therapy! He jokes, he has his opinions, he asks questions; it is beautiful to hear him talking so much. He is going to have a teacher that comes by the house to make sure his speech and development is staying on track. His therapist said it's time to start preparing him for school. SCHOOL?? HE'S STILL MY BABYYYYYYY!!!! I thought when she brought it up. How can I give my baby to the schools and trust them to take care of him? How do people do that? I guess that's when parents decide to home school. Gerson and I both went to public schools so Levi will attend them as well. Unless we are financially able to put him in private school. 

2/ School is going ok. Not much of an update there. I'm still trying to hang in there and graduate. I don't like to think of my projected graduation date.. its so far away I begin to get discouraged. 

3/ I started a new job! No more Target! I work as a Leasing Agent at an apartment complex. There are pros and cons to this job. For example, anyone that knows me knows that I love people. I meet new people everyday! It's wonderful. People from all walks of life; young, old, black, white, working, not working, married, single, etc. That is one of the things I love the most. One of the things I don't like is the people! (I know you're probably confused but bare with me!) They like to call the office and get mad at me when things are wrong in their apartment. It's not my fault, and I cannot even begin to even know the right tool to pick up in order to fix it. They get angry when I give them the same ol' response "I'll let maintenance know for you." I'm not sure what exactly they want me to do. I get curse words thrown at me at least once a day. I always doubted when I would see signs around the complex that I live in that say things like "We Love Our Residents!!" But its really true! I love all of the residents  that live at the apartment complex I work in. (You'd have to in order to take it all.) I have my favorites and my least favorites, but I genuinely want all of the residents to be happy and comfortable with their apartment. I love them. 

Things right now are in a good place for the Garcia's and I am so very thankful for that. My husband and I are doing so good, seems like we're really on the same page with where we are and where we want our family to go. I fall in love with him everyday. 

That's everything for now! 
xo, Londyn.

Time Flies When You're Having Fun... Right?

Oh my goodness, how time flies! 2014 Already? And February at that? Unbelievable!
I find it quite ironic that my last post was about juggling my life all around, yet I lost sight of one of the things last year I really wanted to do, write.

I started this blog as an outlet. Writing has always been a secret passion of mine and it pains me that I let it fall to the wayside. So, instead of making "new year resolutions" this year, I'm just going to promise myself that I am going to try and do the best I can and to let somethings go when I start to feel overwhelmed. Hopefully, I will be able to blog more because I actually love it! But if I cannot, that's ok too.

A lot of things happened in 2013. Things that were good and things that were unfortunate. People say like to say the cliche "I wouldn't change the past" blah blah blah, but I would. Things happened in 2013 that were not fair to my family and I would change it in a heartbeat. However, I realize now that everything happens for a reason, and that the good Lord knows exactly what he is doing.

Unfortunate things that happen in life shouldn't over shadow the awesome and beautiful things that happen everyday. I've come to realize through prayer and just having time to myself that life is beautiful. Its the amazing things that happen and the little victories along with the unfortunate things that makes us love the life we live.

And isn't that what life is all about? Love.

xo, Londyn.

ps, I did not edit this at all, just writing directly from my heart. Please forgive all my grammatical errors, because I'm sure there are plenty! :-)

How to Juggle

One question I get asked a lot is how I balance being a mom, wife, student, and working. I must be honest, it is not as easy as it looks! But these are some tips that I can give to maybe help some one else find balance in their life.

First, I am a mother and a wife. My son, Levi, and my honey, Gerson, are my top priority. They are everything to me! So I make sure that they are taken care of first off. Being a wife was something I felt I had to learn to do. And I'm still learning. Gerson and I didn't live together before we got married so there were still things I had to learn about him and him me. I think I will be learning to be a wife for the rest of our lives together. Gerson is growing and changing just like I am, and me as his wife, I have to learn those changes. Being a mother to Levi was an adjustment. But it is my greatest role. It was something I didn't really have time to "learn." I read books and surfed blogs while I was pregnant and all of that information was great. However, I have to adapt to Levi's personality and his is a character! I'm pretty sure I would do anything for this little guy, that probably doesn't even know my name... Mama is good enough though.

Secondly comes my schooling. It is very important for both Gerson and I to finish college. Being that we have so much other stuff going on, it is hard to find time to study. I scheduled all of my classes on two days so that the rest of the week I can have Levi with me. I do homework between classes or when Levi naps or goes to bed. Sometimes I can sneak and do some while he's playing with some toys and is fine without attention.

Although work is an important aspect of my life, it is certainly not the most important. I really like my job. On the days I have class, I scheduled myself "unavailable" on those days. That way I don't have to stretch myself thin running all over Houston. At one point, I only worked on the weekends, which was fine, my checks weren't very much though, and if you're like me and like to shop... that wouldn't work for you either.

Through it all I have to keep myself sane. I do that by going for worship service, blogging, reading for leisure, even just taking a long shower! I have to have time for myself. Even though I wear a lot of different hats, I will always be Londyn. I never want to lose myself in all the other things that I have going on in my life.

So that's how I do it! I pray that you find a routine that works for you and your family.

New Year's Resolutions

Every year I'm apart of the large group of people that sticks to their new year's resolutions for a month or two, only to wind up giving it up. This year however, I have came up with some resolutions that are so important to me that I have no choice but to continue with them throughout 2013 and beyond.

The first one is to become more involved at church. I attended a Christmas service at Grace and I recommitted my life to Christ. When I look at my past life I see how completely lost I was, wondering around like a wounded puppy. But Jesus took me into His arms, wrapped me in His love, and healed my aching wounds. But my new life is here and it feels so wonderful to be walking with Him beside me everyday (even though He was always there with me, I just ignored Him). Thank You Lord for showing me that You are the Way, the Truth, and the Light.

My second resolution is to become a better wife to my husband and a better mother to my son. The are the two most important people in my life and I want to be the best "Londyn" I can be to them.

Thirdly, I want to adopt a more healthy lifestyle. I know I'm not about to go run a 5k or stop eating burgers at Sonic. But I want to feel better! I'm tired of being out of breath walking up the stairs to my apartment! I need to drink more water, eat LESS burgers, and go for a walk. It starts with little changes.

Last but not least, I want to stop renting and finally buy our house! I'm claiming it, 2013 is The Year of The Garcias!

With God's help, your prayers, and some determination on my part, these resolutions can be accomplished. Fingers crossed!